I don't think I have anything to blog about.

nothing interesting is happening to my life right now.

I barely have friends to talk to , or to hang out.

I seem to have lost the blogging mojo.

or simple just because I don't have anything to blog about.

boo.

I'll come up with something? hmm.

you know!

it really sucks,

cause I can't blog using my Iphone.

grrr, evel!

at 12:12

I wish.

i just found out that my parents underwent a long distance relationship before, and now, all the more reason I believe that we can do it. A long distance relationship..

confession.

You know, I offered to study back at Malaysia,to not go to Aussie and study at IMU when I heard your news.

I know that, after this, things will be very very difficult for us, so I offered to step back away from my dream.

I guess I won't mind as much as I would last time anymore. I take it as going to Aussie to further my studies and not because it is my dream. So much has changed. Comparing to the old me, I would just sulk and complain and would never offered at all, but as I grow, I understand, I accept and I live with my decision. I try to make decision for myself too you know.I don't want to be indecisive as before. So I offered to step back.

And mummy and daddy say they can still handle it. Can they?

Life would be very hard if the decision is set final.

I can't help but think, is this some sort of sign? receiving this news just the day before the payment deadline for IMU.

sigh.

Part 2

I stopped Part 1 where UCSI conned me =X

okay, I didn't like UCSI at first but it did give me a sense of independence, and I really got to brush up my leadership skills in UNI LIFE.

AND, I met awesome people from around the world. I was , am, still slightly introvert. I don't regret knowing these people eventhough it was only for a short time. I learnt a lot bout their culture and religion and by also not stereotyping them, it's SO important to keep an open mind.

oh and there was the exam, the final exam. I didn't study Biology good enough, just so happen my mum got a minor attack and had to send her to the clinic and everything was havoc, hence a C+ in my bio. RAWR. major disappointment when you are trying to studying bio related field. =p but the rest, like uni life- A and calculus and chemistry with respective Bs.

I didn't say I was proud with my results, but I was somehow contented with it? except bio cause I knew I could do SOOO MUCH better.

anyways, after that, was having the holidays for a week and I had to stop uni. for good. so that I can apply for other universities.

Seriously, I have been making wrong turns my whole life, I am far from perfect, making the wrong decisions in relationships, in life, in studies. I was very very very stubborn and I didn't see that there are many other universities that I could enrol in and not only to that particular university.

and I admit that I have wasted time and money on UCSI and another disappointment to add in my list. gah.

I am currently now, staying at home, supposedly checking for other important stuff, practicing piano and supposedly packing too! I really really really want to change myself for the better.

I want to lose weight-FAT

I want to learn how to cook,

I want to be less stubborn and really accept people for who they are

and also listen to then, which include shutting up ,

not being such a brat and a stuck up =/

want to learn how to really really prioritize in a short time and achieve what it's left here before I go, even if I don't go , I will feel proud of myself.

complete things and start making the right turns! there is a limit where everyone has to STOP making the wrong turn and finally do something right.

I hope I won't let my parents or anyone down. I need to fight. fight against myself, my willpower, my perseverance, my patience, everything, every aspect in my life, regardless friends, relationship, future, I have to fight. rightfully.

and I also want to study. hahaha. I know that my post have been super boring. I am working on it? what can you say when you're always coop up at home eh? =)

and I REALLY WANT TO BRUSH UP MY DRIVING SKILLS D:

Last Rant at the moment (hopefully)

I am tired of sulking,

I am tired of not doing anything,

I am tired of sleeping late, and waking up late cause I start to pump late at night, to have the energy to do stuff. I hate it.

I am tired of being tired.

I don't like it now that I have no motivation or that I am neglecting every signals and signs to do things.

and my mood has been bad and hormones flaring.

My period is even late for a week. I know that for most people it might be normal but for me it isn't. I NEVER HAD A LATE PERIOD and it explains a lot, seeing that it's a week late.. AND I had major cramps, I couldn't get off the bed. T_T *cries* I don't like to depend on medicine not that I don't believe in medicine, hello, I am trying to enrol into a program having to do with science related subs.

I don't like waking up knowing that oh crap, I just slept through the day. UGH. mega hate, and know that once AGAIN your parents help you do your chores. WTF. hmmph.

I miss my friends, I am pathetic. I have no friends, I have no life- quote Elena Lai. HAHA.

I need to hang out with friends and also I need to stop moping around as in being lifeless. SERIOUSLY.

I WAS suppose to finish my second piece 2 weeks ago, and I am still in the 4 page whereas there is 6 pages. and whenever my teacher wants to have class, my body miraculously fall sick or I injured my wrist or fingers.

even my body agrees with me. rawr!

I need to turn my body clock and wake my body up. PROPERLY. gah. and I told my cousin I would lose weight until july comes. :D

and I really have been neglecting all the other things around me, I have to start checking for tickets and accommodation and stuff. and I am not even sure yet, I haven't get the letter yet, which is HAVOC.

GRRRR.

so bye :]

3 months, I said 3 months of waiting instead of 3 weeks of waiting

when I asked for the application

GOSH! how incoherent can I be.

BANGS HEAD. UGH!

My whole day consist of my head being in the clouds.

I did nothing rawr! but exercise. my mind was in a haze.

shall do things tomorrow.

Quote: don't put off things you can do today, tomorrow.

so true.

Playlist

Sugarland-Why don't you stay

Uncle Kracker-Smile

Shania Twain- It's in the way you love me

The Fray-Never say never

Rosette-Crushed

- How can sorry mend the broken heart

Taylor Swift-Invisible

Kenny G-Breathless

-I will always love you

Glee-True colours

The Last Goodnight-Pictures of you

Olivia Ong- sometimes when we touch

Breaking Benjamin-Give me a sign

Goo Goo doll- Iris

Yellow card- Only you

Lady Antebellum-I need you now

any more recommendations?

:]

I've been a lousy blogger, and I apologize! I have nothing to blog about apparently D: how sad my life is, well if you want to hear how SAD my life is, it would be never ending. HAHA.

okay, not funny, right.

nighties night

I will be strong and hold on.

Every single little thing, reminds me of you.

I really need to get away.

I made a choice.

to get hurt.

to get my heart broken.

to be ignored.

to annoy.

to hope.

to fight.

and to love.

I went out with my cousin today =]

it was great bonding time. we chat, we laugh, we talked about our problems, we are to stay away from potential beings, haha, we are,was,were there for each other.

In a way, I understand how she feels which in relation, I understand about how he felt.

and she understands how I felt in relation to understand how he felt.

I k now you don't get it! haha.

I guess that, you don't have the courage to believe, not anyone, but me.

you don't have the courage to be hurt, by me.

you don't have it in you to take a chance but to move away and start anew.

it is understandable, I never said I didn't and wouldn't understand.

but you should also understand why am I doing this.

Everyone at some point in their life, okay almost every point in their life as they grow, they need to experience pain, anger, angst, disappointment, happy, joy, escalated feeling.

AND, they have decisions to make. no one can run away without making a decision.

everyone is bound to get hurt.

I kinda wish Mellie was here or she would reply my message. harhar. I am impatient :D

I am making no sense, cause i am not thinking properly. RAwr. and I am nearing sickness. boo.

goodbye.

Sometimes

I wonder if it is worth it.

Everything is so overwhelming.

yes.

EMO DAYS ARE OVER!

A facade

it's hard to say I love you when it doesn't have an effect on you anymore

it's hard to say I want you when those words are about to be rejected.

facade of happiness is a skill of art.

a protection to how raw your feeling is,

acting fine is fine, cause then everything might be fine.

you know, I was reading through everything you gave me, and I realize that yes, maybe the appreciation is not enough.

after all, it's a moment too late to repair.

okaaayyy, emo posts will end by tomorrow hopefully.

I will force myself, make myself to let go.

Quote: When you love a person, you would put their happiness above yours.

mmm, right at the moment, I feel like I'm Violet in Private Practice, so sad and pathetic, D:

ish, eek.

mm, night.

how are you?

seems like

how are you fucking your life right now.







fuck.