Once again , my nightmares have return...
I still remember whenever I have nightmare, I will end up either staying up the whole night thinking about it or, worrying bout unnecessary things.. or mayb try to get back to sleep..
I remember I would use to send you an sms telling you that I've just had a nightmare..
then the next day you would call and demand an explanation for not calling you instead..
then I would say that I didn't wanna woke you up.. but you insisted that I call.. so that you could at least try to stay by my side..
Somehow, I really tot it isn't necessary to wake you up for such little things.. as you had more important things to do.. all I had to do was just inform you in any way.. because I know you'll read it no matter what.. at least I was sure that you cared at that time..
Now, my nightmares has find it's way back to me again.... I didn't inform nor sms you.. cuz.. I was unsure what to do.. since you hardly reply my smses anymore..
Now, if the nightmare comes.. I would either keep thinking bout it or if it's too hard to bear... I'll just start crying..
yeah I know what you think.. I'm a cry baby right???
That I'm always crying..
Sorry to say.. now I depend on myself.. as you left me here all alone.
whatever..
Monday, 30 April 2007
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
PIcture Crazy!!
This is just some pictures I find nice.. heh.. =p
Why am I not blogging?? too lazy , nothing to blog, or mayb just keeping to myself for the time being..
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Zangy Comment Graphics
Why am I not blogging?? too lazy , nothing to blog, or mayb just keeping to myself for the time being..
Tuesday, 24 April 2007
Not AGAIN! HISTORY REPEATS*
Sigh, it's the time again, election of perfects, well not election yet la, but candidate for prefects...
once again, all of my friend kena Calon I tak kena calon.
It's not like I wanna kena calon la, but I don't understand why tak kena..
It's like I'm despo to kena calon right?? haha no la, but even one of my laziest friend.. =p kena calon aso..
And me of course, got nothing to say jor lo.
Once again all of my chinese friends : Levina, Elena and Tinisha kena calon.. sighs..
Some part of me don't wan them to be prefects.. all of them be, then once again left me.. I hate itt soo mucchh... seems like I being selfish horh?? very selfish indeed, and I know.. but sigh ><
I HATE LONELY okay.. you guys don't know how does it feel if you tak jadi prefect but then all of your friend jadi.
If i kena calon tak jadi, I aso won't care so much la.. I not the prefect quality nyways..
My studies reach to the average, me not so garang if I don't need to.. well.. all ok ok la..
doink.. first first all say don't wanna be, all bluff me wan... now all cakap wanna be..
sorry for being selfish, I know I shouldn't be, but this things keep happening to me, years and years again.. I just hate it..
Sometimes I hate for not being noticed...
ARgh.. I sux right??
SUX to the max.. yeah I know..
-Speechless-
once again, all of my friend kena Calon I tak kena calon.
It's not like I wanna kena calon la, but I don't understand why tak kena..
It's like I'm despo to kena calon right?? haha no la, but even one of my laziest friend.. =p kena calon aso..
And me of course, got nothing to say jor lo.
Once again all of my chinese friends : Levina, Elena and Tinisha kena calon.. sighs..
Some part of me don't wan them to be prefects.. all of them be, then once again left me.. I hate itt soo mucchh... seems like I being selfish horh?? very selfish indeed, and I know.. but sigh ><
I HATE LONELY okay.. you guys don't know how does it feel if you tak jadi prefect but then all of your friend jadi.
If i kena calon tak jadi, I aso won't care so much la.. I not the prefect quality nyways..
My studies reach to the average, me not so garang if I don't need to.. well.. all ok ok la..
doink.. first first all say don't wanna be, all bluff me wan... now all cakap wanna be..
sorry for being selfish, I know I shouldn't be, but this things keep happening to me, years and years again.. I just hate it..
Sometimes I hate for not being noticed...
ARgh.. I sux right??
SUX to the max.. yeah I know..
-Speechless-
Saturday, 21 April 2007
Something I copied from the bulletin.. =p
1-touch her waist
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss her slowly
are you remembering this?
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're with
your friends
keep reading
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more,
deny it. fight back.
15-when her friends say i love her more
than you, deny it. fight back and
hug her tight so she cant get to her
friends. it makes her feel loved.
Are you thinking about someone?
16-always hug her and say i love you
when you see her.
17-kiss her unexpectedly.
18-***HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE
WAIST!!!***
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!
20-u need to show her you mean it too
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DON'T ask her to buy you stuff. you
buy HER stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can
still help makes her feel special.
26-DON'T LIE TO HER.
27-DON'T CHEAT ON HER.
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good day at
school, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs
you, & even when she doesn't need you,
just be there so she'll know that she
can always count on you
are you still reading this u better be
its important
31-Hold her close when she's cold and
she can hold you too.
32-When you are alone hold her close
and kiss her.
33-Kiss her on the tip of her nose; (it
will give her the hint that you
want to kiss them).
34-While in the movie, put your arm
around her and then she will
automatically put her head on your
shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin up and kiss her lightly.
35-Dont ever tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her
remember this next time you are with
her
36-When people diss her, stand up for
her.
37-Look deep into her eyes and tell her
you love her.
38-Lay down under the stars and put her
head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your
heart, Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she rests
her eyes and listens to you.
39-When walking next to each other grab
her hand.
40-When you hug her hold her in your
arms as long as possible
41-Call her at night to wish her sweet
dreams.
42-Comfort her when she cries and wipe
away her tears.
43-Take her for long walks at night
44-Dedicate a song to her.
45-Always Remind her how much you love
her.
youll never know when she needs just a
lil more love.
====================================================================
Girls cry because...
1. They're sad...
2. They're scared...
3. They're nervous...
4. They're frustrated...
5. They're missing someone...
6. They're alone...
7. They're PMSing...
8. They're pregnant..
9. Their heart is broken...
10. They're in love...
11. Their souls have been torn...
12. THEY MET A BOY THEY CANT HAVE...
13. They fell in love with a boy...
14. They hurt so bad inside...
15. They're mad...
16. JUST BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE CRYING
BOYS: If any girl you know is crying
and you see them, don't just stand
there and say you're sorry. Hold them
and tell them everything will be okay,
even if you have no idea what is wrong
with them. Girls just want to be held
and know that someone cares about them.
====================================================================
It had been a year since Susan,
thirty-four, became blind. Due to a
medical misdiagnosis she had been
rendered sightless.
Once a fiercely independent woman,
Susan
now felt condemned by this terrible
twist of fate to become a powerless,
helpless burden on everyone around her.
"How could this have happened to me?"
A cloud of depression hung over Susan's
once optimistic spirit. Just getting
through each day was an exercise in
frustration and exhaustion. And all she
had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he
loved Susan with all of his heart. When
she first lost her sight, he watched
her
sink into despair and was determined to
help his wife gain the strength and
confidence she needed to become
independent again.
Finally, Susan felt ready to return to
her job, but how would she get there?
She used to take the bus, but was now
too frightened to get around the city
by
herself. Mark volunteered to drive her
to work each day, even though they
worked at opposite ends of the city. At
first, this comforted Susan and
fulfilled Mark's need to protect his
sightless wife who was so insecure
about
performing the slightest task.
Soon, however Mark realized that this
arrangement wasn't working - it was
hectic, and costly. Susan is going to
have to start taking the bus again, he
admitted to himself. She was still so
fragile.
Just as Mark predicted, Susan was
horrified at the idea of taking the bus
again. "I'm blind!" she responded
bitterly. "How am I supposed to know
where I'm going? I feel like you're
abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to
hear these words, but he knew what had
to be done. He promised Susan that each
morning and evening he would ride the
bus with her, for as long as it took,
until she got the hang of it.
And that is exactly what happened. For
two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform
and all, accompanied Susan to and from
work each day. He taught her how to
rely
on her other senses, specifically her
hearing, to determine where she was and
how to adapt to her new environment. He
helped her befriend the bus drivers who
could watch out for her, and save her a
seat. Each morning they made the
journey
together, and Mark would take a cab
back
to his office.
Finally, Susan decided that she was
ready to try the trip on her own.
Monday morning arrived, and before she
left she threw her arms around Mark,
her
temporary bus riding companion, her
husband, and her best friend. Her eyes
filled with tears of gratitude for his
loyalty, his patience, his love. She
said good-bye, and for the first time,
they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
Each day on her own went perfectly, and
Susan had never felt better. She was
doing it! She was going to work all by
herself!
On Friday morning, Susan took the bus
to
work as usual. As she was paying for
her
fare to exit the bus, the driver said,
"Boy, I sure envy you."
Susan wasn't sure if the driver was
speaking to her or not. After all, who
on earth would ever envy a blind woman
who had struggled just to find the
courage to live for the past year?
Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do
you say that you envy me?" The driver
responded, "It must feel so good to be
taken care of and protected like you
are."
Susan had no idea what the driver was
talking about, and asked again, "What
do
you mean?"
The driver answered, "You know, every
morning for the past week, a fine
looking gentleman in a military uniform
has been standing across the corner
watching you when you get off the bus.
He makes sure you cross the street
safely and he watches you until you
enter your office building. Then he
blows you a kiss, gives you a little
salute and walks away. You are one
lucky
lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's
cheeks. For although she couldn't
physically see him, she had always felt
Mark's presence close to her
===================================================================
> if a girl cries...all those
guys who
make ur gf's cry..READ!
>
>
> If a girl cries in front of you, it
> means that she couldn't take it
> anymore..
>
> If you take her hand, she would stay
> with you for the rest of your life;
> If you let her go, she couldn't go
back
> to being herself anymore..
>
> A girl wont cry easily, Except in
front
> of the person who she love the most,
> she
> becomes weak..
>
> A girl wont cry easily, only when she
> loves you the most, she puts down her
> ego..
>
> Guys, if a girl cries bcos of you
> please
> hold her hands firmly, she's the one
> who
> would stay with you for the rest of
> your
> life.
>
> Guys, if a girl cries bcos of you,
> please dont give her up, maybe bcos
of
> your decision, you ruin her life..
>
> When she cry right in front of you,
> When she cry bcos of you..,
>
> Look into her eyes, Can u see n feel
> the
> pain n hurt she's feeling?
>
> Think. Which other girl have cried
with
> pure sincerity, Infront of you, And
> bcos
> of you?
>
> She cry not because she is weak,
> She cry not bcos she wants sympathy
or
> pity..,
>
> She cry, Because crying silently is
no
> longer possible, the pain,hurt,n
agony
> have become too big a burden to be
kept
> inside..
>
> Guys, Think about it, If a girl cry
her
> heart out to you, And all because of
> you..,
>
> Its time to look back on what u have
> done, Only you will know the answer
to
> it.
>
> Do consider it, Cos one day, It may
be
> too late for regrets..,
> It may be too late to say "im sorry"
===================================================================
On3 Heck of a Gr3at Boyfriend..
every girl dreams that one
day she
will find a boy that does these things
for her. even the smallest action can
have the BIGGEST impact in someones
life.
• give her one of your t-shirts to
sleep in.
• leave her cute text notes.
• kiss her in front of your friends.
• tell her she looks beautiful.
• look into her eyes when you talk to
her.
• let her mess with your hair.
• touch her hair.
• just walk around with her.
• forgive her for her mistakes.
• look at her like she`s the only girl
you see.
• tickle her even when she says stop.
• hold her hand when you`re around your
friends.
• when she starts swearing at you, tell
her you love her.
• let her fall asleep in your arms.
• get her mad, then kiss her.
• tease her and let her tease you back.
• stay up all night with her when she`s
sick.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
• kiss her forehead.
• give her the world.
• write her letters.
• let her wear your clothes.
• when she`s sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she`s important.
• let her take all the photos she wants
of you.
• kiss her in the pouring rain.
• when you fall in love with her, tell
her.
• and when you tell her, love her like
you`ve never loved someone before.
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss her slowly
are you remembering this?
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're with
your friends
keep reading
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more,
deny it. fight back.
15-when her friends say i love her more
than you, deny it. fight back and
hug her tight so she cant get to her
friends. it makes her feel loved.
Are you thinking about someone?
16-always hug her and say i love you
when you see her.
17-kiss her unexpectedly.
18-***HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE
WAIST!!!***
19-tell her shes beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!
20-u need to show her you mean it too
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DON'T ask her to buy you stuff. you
buy HER stuff
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. small things can
still help makes her feel special.
26-DON'T LIE TO HER.
27-DON'T CHEAT ON HER.
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good day at
school, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs
you, & even when she doesn't need you,
just be there so she'll know that she
can always count on you
are you still reading this u better be
its important
31-Hold her close when she's cold and
she can hold you too.
32-When you are alone hold her close
and kiss her.
33-Kiss her on the tip of her nose; (it
will give her the hint that you
want to kiss them).
34-While in the movie, put your arm
around her and then she will
automatically put her head on your
shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin up and kiss her lightly.
35-Dont ever tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes upset, comfort her
remember this next time you are with
her
36-When people diss her, stand up for
her.
37-Look deep into her eyes and tell her
you love her.
38-Lay down under the stars and put her
head on your chest so she can
listen to the steady beat of your
heart, Link your fingers together
while you whisper to her as she rests
her eyes and listens to you.
39-When walking next to each other grab
her hand.
40-When you hug her hold her in your
arms as long as possible
41-Call her at night to wish her sweet
dreams.
42-Comfort her when she cries and wipe
away her tears.
43-Take her for long walks at night
44-Dedicate a song to her.
45-Always Remind her how much you love
her.
youll never know when she needs just a
lil more love.
====================================================================
Girls cry because...
1. They're sad...
2. They're scared...
3. They're nervous...
4. They're frustrated...
5. They're missing someone...
6. They're alone...
7. They're PMSing...
8. They're pregnant..
9. Their heart is broken...
10. They're in love...
11. Their souls have been torn...
12. THEY MET A BOY THEY CANT HAVE...
13. They fell in love with a boy...
14. They hurt so bad inside...
15. They're mad...
16. JUST BECAUSE THEY FEEL LIKE CRYING
BOYS: If any girl you know is crying
and you see them, don't just stand
there and say you're sorry. Hold them
and tell them everything will be okay,
even if you have no idea what is wrong
with them. Girls just want to be held
and know that someone cares about them.
====================================================================
It had been a year since Susan,
thirty-four, became blind. Due to a
medical misdiagnosis she had been
rendered sightless.
Once a fiercely independent woman,
Susan
now felt condemned by this terrible
twist of fate to become a powerless,
helpless burden on everyone around her.
"How could this have happened to me?"
A cloud of depression hung over Susan's
once optimistic spirit. Just getting
through each day was an exercise in
frustration and exhaustion. And all she
had to cling to was her husband Mark.
Mark was an Air Force officer and he
loved Susan with all of his heart. When
she first lost her sight, he watched
her
sink into despair and was determined to
help his wife gain the strength and
confidence she needed to become
independent again.
Finally, Susan felt ready to return to
her job, but how would she get there?
She used to take the bus, but was now
too frightened to get around the city
by
herself. Mark volunteered to drive her
to work each day, even though they
worked at opposite ends of the city. At
first, this comforted Susan and
fulfilled Mark's need to protect his
sightless wife who was so insecure
about
performing the slightest task.
Soon, however Mark realized that this
arrangement wasn't working - it was
hectic, and costly. Susan is going to
have to start taking the bus again, he
admitted to himself. She was still so
fragile.
Just as Mark predicted, Susan was
horrified at the idea of taking the bus
again. "I'm blind!" she responded
bitterly. "How am I supposed to know
where I'm going? I feel like you're
abandoning me." Mark's heart broke to
hear these words, but he knew what had
to be done. He promised Susan that each
morning and evening he would ride the
bus with her, for as long as it took,
until she got the hang of it.
And that is exactly what happened. For
two solid weeks, Mark, military uniform
and all, accompanied Susan to and from
work each day. He taught her how to
rely
on her other senses, specifically her
hearing, to determine where she was and
how to adapt to her new environment. He
helped her befriend the bus drivers who
could watch out for her, and save her a
seat. Each morning they made the
journey
together, and Mark would take a cab
back
to his office.
Finally, Susan decided that she was
ready to try the trip on her own.
Monday morning arrived, and before she
left she threw her arms around Mark,
her
temporary bus riding companion, her
husband, and her best friend. Her eyes
filled with tears of gratitude for his
loyalty, his patience, his love. She
said good-bye, and for the first time,
they went their separate ways.
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
Each day on her own went perfectly, and
Susan had never felt better. She was
doing it! She was going to work all by
herself!
On Friday morning, Susan took the bus
to
work as usual. As she was paying for
her
fare to exit the bus, the driver said,
"Boy, I sure envy you."
Susan wasn't sure if the driver was
speaking to her or not. After all, who
on earth would ever envy a blind woman
who had struggled just to find the
courage to live for the past year?
Curious, she asked the driver, "Why do
you say that you envy me?" The driver
responded, "It must feel so good to be
taken care of and protected like you
are."
Susan had no idea what the driver was
talking about, and asked again, "What
do
you mean?"
The driver answered, "You know, every
morning for the past week, a fine
looking gentleman in a military uniform
has been standing across the corner
watching you when you get off the bus.
He makes sure you cross the street
safely and he watches you until you
enter your office building. Then he
blows you a kiss, gives you a little
salute and walks away. You are one
lucky
lady."
Tears of happiness poured down Susan's
cheeks. For although she couldn't
physically see him, she had always felt
Mark's presence close to her
===================================================================
> if a girl cries...all those
guys who
make ur gf's cry..READ!
>
>
> If a girl cries in front of you, it
> means that she couldn't take it
> anymore..
>
> If you take her hand, she would stay
> with you for the rest of your life;
> If you let her go, she couldn't go
back
> to being herself anymore..
>
> A girl wont cry easily, Except in
front
> of the person who she love the most,
> she
> becomes weak..
>
> A girl wont cry easily, only when she
> loves you the most, she puts down her
> ego..
>
> Guys, if a girl cries bcos of you
> please
> hold her hands firmly, she's the one
> who
> would stay with you for the rest of
> your
> life.
>
> Guys, if a girl cries bcos of you,
> please dont give her up, maybe bcos
of
> your decision, you ruin her life..
>
> When she cry right in front of you,
> When she cry bcos of you..,
>
> Look into her eyes, Can u see n feel
> the
> pain n hurt she's feeling?
>
> Think. Which other girl have cried
with
> pure sincerity, Infront of you, And
> bcos
> of you?
>
> She cry not because she is weak,
> She cry not bcos she wants sympathy
or
> pity..,
>
> She cry, Because crying silently is
no
> longer possible, the pain,hurt,n
agony
> have become too big a burden to be
kept
> inside..
>
> Guys, Think about it, If a girl cry
her
> heart out to you, And all because of
> you..,
>
> Its time to look back on what u have
> done, Only you will know the answer
to
> it.
>
> Do consider it, Cos one day, It may
be
> too late for regrets..,
> It may be too late to say "im sorry"
===================================================================
On3 Heck of a Gr3at Boyfriend..
every girl dreams that one
day she
will find a boy that does these things
for her. even the smallest action can
have the BIGGEST impact in someones
life.
• give her one of your t-shirts to
sleep in.
• leave her cute text notes.
• kiss her in front of your friends.
• tell her she looks beautiful.
• look into her eyes when you talk to
her.
• let her mess with your hair.
• touch her hair.
• just walk around with her.
• forgive her for her mistakes.
• look at her like she`s the only girl
you see.
• tickle her even when she says stop.
• hold her hand when you`re around your
friends.
• when she starts swearing at you, tell
her you love her.
• let her fall asleep in your arms.
• get her mad, then kiss her.
• tease her and let her tease you back.
• stay up all night with her when she`s
sick.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
• kiss her forehead.
• give her the world.
• write her letters.
• let her wear your clothes.
• when she`s sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she`s important.
• let her take all the photos she wants
of you.
• kiss her in the pouring rain.
• when you fall in love with her, tell
her.
• and when you tell her, love her like
you`ve never loved someone before.
Thursday, 19 April 2007
Super Random Shots of.. Mua..
so gotten a new hair cut la.. aijor.. someone just remind me whenever I wanna cut my hair.. leave my hair longer first la.. sighhssssss.....
Depressed.. and it's the old hair..
Don't really like my new hair now.. wuuhuuuuuu.. T___T
Blehhxxx....
Huge Eyes.. @_@
Depressed.. and it's the old hair..
Don't really like my new hair now.. wuuhuuuuuu.. T___T
Blehhxxx....
Huge Eyes.. @_@
Wednesday, 18 April 2007
Monday, 16 April 2007
Todae is not.. quite a lucky day..
cut this short..
Went book shopping wanted to get the FOCUS 2 u .. or sth la.. for bio and chem.. in my place nearby jusco.. then see see no stock.. then I remembered recommended me the reference book for add maths.. so I just buy la..
So yeah lah.. this is the book..
then later
8.15*TUITION*
my fingers went giddy giddy
cannot play properly.. ah.. whatever.. then I just finish class not long.. so no dinner yet.. now having dinner..
before finishing my class, my mum went out.. I was like = =!!!
then fine.. when she leave.. I have to release the dog.. then the chain.. or the err chain opener sort off got stuck to my finger... so.. got KIAP.. PAIN!!!
it was mainly bcause the dog cannot bladi sit still.. so.. i bet tomorrow or wed sure blue black lo.. then err..
went in the house.. I suddenly started crying. I don't really know why, or mayb I do..
I just felt suddenly emotionally, physically and mentally pain.. really pain.. and it's not only from the bladi leash.. it's about other things, I'll save you all from misery.. ain't gonna tell..
and my mum , she just left the house liddet.. suddenly lose control, just dunno la..
just started to crying.. I feel very silly and hurt and pain and misery at the same time.. didn't realize I was crying also.. till.. i felt my face wet.. pathetic
I really dunno what to do,
In school act as if nothing, infront of everyone also.. but when I'm alone..I'm bleeding inside.. I start thinking bout things.. I can't explain, I don't understand why..
Shyt, see now I feel like I hate or dislike everything.. I feel like in the dumpster.. and even by writing this can make me cry, HOW FREAKING GREAT IS THAT?!?!?
Even I tell all of you that I'm fine, but I'm secretly breaking down..
argh, FIIIISSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I hate being weak, I hate having no control, especially on myself.. I hate it all..
I wanna let go of everything and go elsewhere..
FISH FISH FISH LA.. hate life?
Won't online so often this few days,, going kl library to do revision..
hope I won't lost control dere..
Went book shopping wanted to get the FOCUS 2 u .. or sth la.. for bio and chem.. in my place nearby jusco.. then see see no stock.. then I remembered recommended me the reference book for add maths.. so I just buy la..
So yeah lah.. this is the book..
then later
8.15*TUITION*
my fingers went giddy giddy
cannot play properly.. ah.. whatever.. then I just finish class not long.. so no dinner yet.. now having dinner..
before finishing my class, my mum went out.. I was like = =!!!
then fine.. when she leave.. I have to release the dog.. then the chain.. or the err chain opener sort off got stuck to my finger... so.. got KIAP.. PAIN!!!
it was mainly bcause the dog cannot bladi sit still.. so.. i bet tomorrow or wed sure blue black lo.. then err..
went in the house.. I suddenly started crying. I don't really know why, or mayb I do..
I just felt suddenly emotionally, physically and mentally pain.. really pain.. and it's not only from the bladi leash.. it's about other things, I'll save you all from misery.. ain't gonna tell..
and my mum , she just left the house liddet.. suddenly lose control, just dunno la..
just started to crying.. I feel very silly and hurt and pain and misery at the same time.. didn't realize I was crying also.. till.. i felt my face wet.. pathetic
I really dunno what to do,
In school act as if nothing, infront of everyone also.. but when I'm alone..I'm bleeding inside.. I start thinking bout things.. I can't explain, I don't understand why..
Shyt, see now I feel like I hate or dislike everything.. I feel like in the dumpster.. and even by writing this can make me cry, HOW FREAKING GREAT IS THAT?!?!?
Even I tell all of you that I'm fine, but I'm secretly breaking down..
argh, FIIIISSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I hate being weak, I hate having no control, especially on myself.. I hate it all..
I wanna let go of everything and go elsewhere..
FISH FISH FISH LA.. hate life?
Won't online so often this few days,, going kl library to do revision..
hope I won't lost control dere..
Sunday, 15 April 2007
I'm hateable.
I'm hateable...
How many times must I go through break ups , or rejection or what so ever bout this..
You left me when I was lonely,
Saying that you couldn't forget what happened,
because of what happened,
You made me change,
but I guess this change
isn't good enough for you,
that you had to leave me ,
once more in the dark,
where all the star glitter above me,
boasting that they could shine brighter than me,
where the moon laughs at me,
for being such a failure...
I am a failure,
a failure I am.
You made me happie,
You made me sad,
Now you make my heart break for a millionth time,
Not shattered into a million pieces but
Break for the millionth time,
why must you keep breaking my heart,
after I've spend so long mending it back?
Why must you make me happie
then make me sad?
I'm sorry if I've hurt you,
but you've hurt me too.
I've changed , I've really have
To forget my past is what I did,
To start over again is what I want.
You left me when I needed you most,
You said you forgived me,
but I didn't knew that you never did.
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
So i could sober longer,
Had you taken a payback,
so that you could watch me suffer?
Infront of you,
you held a big barrier,
I didn't know what to do
but to stare at you helplessly.
can we start over???
answers left blank,
Can you pass through yourself?
Can you really forgive me?
Do you really love me as you say ?
It's for you to find out and for me to know
-If I don't say I love you, doesn't mean I don't, Cause deep down my heart,
I really do.....-
-You promise never to break my heart nor make me cry.. but in the end.. you still do...-
Don't be sad, smile, make the day better..
Sighs.. whatever..
I'm Hateable..
How many times must I go through break ups , or rejection or what so ever bout this..
You left me when I was lonely,
Saying that you couldn't forget what happened,
because of what happened,
You made me change,
but I guess this change
isn't good enough for you,
that you had to leave me ,
once more in the dark,
where all the star glitter above me,
boasting that they could shine brighter than me,
where the moon laughs at me,
for being such a failure...
I am a failure,
a failure I am.
You made me happie,
You made me sad,
Now you make my heart break for a millionth time,
Not shattered into a million pieces but
Break for the millionth time,
why must you keep breaking my heart,
after I've spend so long mending it back?
Why must you make me happie
then make me sad?
I'm sorry if I've hurt you,
but you've hurt me too.
I've changed , I've really have
To forget my past is what I did,
To start over again is what I want.
You left me when I needed you most,
You said you forgived me,
but I didn't knew that you never did.
Why didn't you tell me earlier?
So i could sober longer,
Had you taken a payback,
so that you could watch me suffer?
Infront of you,
you held a big barrier,
I didn't know what to do
but to stare at you helplessly.
can we start over???
answers left blank,
Can you pass through yourself?
Can you really forgive me?
Do you really love me as you say ?
It's for you to find out and for me to know
-If I don't say I love you, doesn't mean I don't, Cause deep down my heart,
I really do.....-
-You promise never to break my heart nor make me cry.. but in the end.. you still do...-
Don't be sad, smile, make the day better..
Sighs.. whatever..
I'm Hateable..
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