Why all the sudden you started to care??
Of every move I take,
Or every breath I breathe on.
Why all the while you gave me freedom,
and all of the sudden you just lock me back in the cage?
I'm a disappointment aren't I?
But you never gave any expectations to me.
You never held any barrier,
There is no ladder to reach my destination.
Just all of the sudden,
I feel that ,
I'm not good enough for both of you.
Whenever you see my marks,
you will not say anything,
but just purse your lips,
declaring the conversation has ended.
When I make an effort to do something,
both of you , just can't see,
how much I've improved, or how much effort I've put in.
You would just say, " I've wasted so much money on you, and this is all you can give me? "
Maybe, It really wasn't enough.
How was I to know, what was your expectations towards me.
You weren't strict to me before, why now?
You know how hard it is for me to tell both of you things?
Cause I would know what is your reaction,
your answer.
Maybe it's true,
I was never good enough for both of you..
You guys held an invisible barrier,
just waiting me to find it.. or to even reach it.
Maybe, just maybe...
I was never good enough for both of you to begin with..
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GAH! whatever.. I'm just.. gah.. I have no idea anymore..
these stress, pressure, tension , just pile up on me..
the expectations that once weren't there, is showing off slowly.
This emotion, you could never understand.
-Lenna-
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