I'm a bad bad bad person.. but I felt the needy to be honest.. I can't keep lying I guess.. I don't wanna lie to a person that I care much.. and etc etc.. you must think that I'm bull shitting.. but I can't blame you for after what I said to you.. So yeah.. I'm a big big BITCH. and so on so on..
I din wanna break it to you. honestly.. I was waiting mayb till.. your feeling towards me changed?? but.. I'm sort off restarting the life process... and I felt needy to start by being honest.. and lookie here.. honesty brings along sadness.. and hatred I guess..WAY TO GO ME!! hah.. as if.. = =
I don't really feel good right now.. mayb cause.. telling everything was darn difficult.. and I know that you will be hurt.. and I actually feel like crying right now.. BAH! my life is screwed nyways..
Trying to keep it to the good side okay! I don't wanna break down again.. I'm afraid that I'll lose you. I'm stupid.. should have know that.. once I told you that.. is practically the ratio 90:10 that you'll leave me.. and I'm sorry I made you soo dissapointed.. so hurt.. and I'm the bad person here.. I'm not denying.. all of it .. It's my fault..
And to only think that.. I was planning to give what you've always wanted... just thinking on when and where.. I'm sorry.. I'm such a jerk, a moron, a bitch.. you name it..
Now I'm starting to regret.. but I know that you hate people lying to you. and I just wanna give up on lying too. I will understand if you decided not to talk to me anymore.. or hate me forever.. and I know that it's no use asking for forgiveness... as I hurt you soo much..
but I think I just wanted to let you know..
It takes alot alot of courage to be honest.. to think that I'll lose you.. dissapoint you, hurt you. and so on ...
and THEY SAY , HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY! BAH! as if! = = it sure don't make me feel better in any ways.. jeez..
speechless at da moment.. can't think of anything to say.. can't think right.. sigh..
-Lenna-
P.S hope you read this..
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